Career Advice for Mischief Managers
by Theodore Green
Summary: Fred and George Weasley must decide what they will do after Hogwarts, with the advice of Minerva McGonagall. How will she react to their burgeoning plans of opening a joke shop?


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or Fred Weasley. Or George Weasley. Or Minerva McGonagall. But I love them all. Here we go.

oOo

"What do you think she'll say?"

"George, I've told you a thousand times," said Fred exasperatedly. "I reckon she might just throw us out of her office."

Fred and George Weasley were huddled outside Minerva McGonagall's study, waiting their turn for a career consultation. Notices had gone up on the bulletin board in the Gryffindor Common Room, and, seeing as they would be sitting their OWL's in just a few short weeks that would help them achieve their career goals, they figured that the worst they could do is see what she had to say. At any rate, Percy had as good as frog-marched them down to McGonagall's office, threatening to write home to Mum if they didn't get more serious about their aspirations.

"You know, she might think we're mad," said George quietly, "but you can't say it wouldn't be off brand. We've been experimenting for ages."

"Yeah, George, but she's the first person who's going to hear about the plans," muttered Fred.

At that moment, the door to McGonagall's study opened, and she was finishing a thought to Lee as he departed the office. "Yes, all in all, Mr. Jordan, I do think that your aspirations for work at the Wizarding Wireless Network to be an excellent career choice. I would reach out directly to Professors Flitwick and Burbage with your ideas."

Lee looked around at Fred and George, grinning broadly, and they each managed a half-smile back. As Lee departed for the Common Room, Professor McGonagall turned to the twins, saying, "Well, which one of you would like to go first?"

"Actually, Professor," said Fred, a very slight quiver in his voice. "We were wondering if we could have our consultation together."

McGonagall blinked, looking wary. "A bit unusual, even for family members, but, yes, I… I suppose."

Fred and George stood, gathering their bookbags and entering McGonagall's office. McGonagall closed the door with a snap, and then gestured towards a chair in front of her desk. Before she had settled herself at the desk, George pulled out his wand, muttering, "Gemino!" and a replica of the chair jumped out of the first.

As they all settled into their respective chairs, Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. "Well, Mr. and Mr. Weasley, we are here today to discuss any career ideas you might have, and what subjects each of you ought to focus on in your sixth and seventh years. Have you had any thoughts about what you might want to do after you time at Hogwarts ends?"

George cleared his throat, somewhat more loudly than McGonagall had, and McGonagall cocked an eyebrow. With a grim nod from Fred, he said, rather quickly, "Well, we'd like to open a joke shop."

McGonagall's eyes flicked back and forth between Fred and George as he tilted her head slightly to one side, coming to rest, out-of-focus, somewhere above their heads. After a few moments that felt like a silent eternity, she said, "Yes. Yes, I think that would be very good for both of you."

Fred and George exchanged looks of bemused surprise, and Fred stammered, "Wha… what?! Professor, did you hear correctly?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley," quipped Professor McGonagall. "My ears are perfectly in order. I think that you would be well suited for such a career path."

"But," started George, "Don't you think it would be better for us… The Ministry… Mum and Dad…"

"You parents will understand," said McGonagall simply. "They see it, eventually. And… as for the Ministry, I doubt a single department would really provide fulfilling work for you. The closest is the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, but even that is mind-numbing work. No, Weasley, the Ministry of Magic isn't for everyone, and even your parents know that."

"They want us to follow in dad's footsteps," grumbled Fred. "In Percy's stead, they said, at Christmas."

McGonagall's face was impassive for a moment, and then, to the twin's surprise, it soften slightly. When she spoke, her voice was measured, but more gentle. "Above all, your parents want you to be happy. That's what anyone wants for you, us teachers included."

Fred and George exchanged looks of great skepticism at these words. McGonagall stiffened slightly, and said, "Listen, let me tell you two stories, and see if what I say to both of you sounds right."

George looked from Fred to McGonagall and back again, and Fred nodded once.

McGonagall sighed. "Several years ago, I had one of these career consultations with a model student, someone who was fast-fast-tracked to becoming Head Boy, a feat he did eventually achieve. He felt that there was so much expectation for him to be the best, the strongest, the most awarded, because he felt like he had to live up to the legacy of his family. His uncles were killed in the war against You-Know-Who, and I think he always felt like he owed it to them to make something spectacular of his like, to live and to die as bravely as they did. I encouraged that student to speak to Professor Dumbledore about his aspirations for adventure, and the Headmaster suggested that he join the Curse-Breakers of Gringotts, a most elite group of witches and wizards dedicated to discovery and preservation of magical history. While his parents thought this career choice was much too dangerous, that he may be safer at a job in the Ministry or at the British branch of Gringotts, he is currently a well-respected Curse-Breaker working in Egypt."

Fred gave George a meaningful look, a grin spreading across his face in spite of himself.

McGonagall gazed again at the twins, the corners of her mouth betraying a tiny smile. She continued, "A few years later, I had a similar conversation with a student who had a dilemma much like your own. This student had a lot people looking up to him because of his Quidditch prowess and his general popularity. When he was in his fifth year, he began to spend a lot of time helping Professor Kettleburn with the magical creatures in his charge, whenever he could get away from the Quidditch pitch or from admirers trying to get a glimpse into what it was like to be him. When he and I sat down to have this conversation, I advised him to send an owl to Newt Scamander, the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. He did, and Mr. Scamander encouraged him to follow his dreams, which led him to a life studying dragons in Romania, despite his parents wanting him to join the Ministry after Hogwarts."

Fred and George were now smiling broadly. McGonagall's face too broke into a rare, genuine smile.

"Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley," said she. "I daresay that your parents are accustomed to fighting and losing arguments about their children joining the Ministry of Magic. Perhaps they have become complacent due to Percy's aspirations of institutional power, but, no matter what career path you choose, they will always be proud of their sons. In your case, it may take them a while to see it, but I think they will, eventually."

Fred was looking down at the floor, and George patted him on the back. Gazing at McGonagall, his hand still resting on his twins shoulder, he said, "So… what do you think? What classes should we take?"

"Well," said McGonagall, regaining her brisk tone. "That is an interesting question. The last time we had someone go into your field was Dr. Filibuster himself, and that was over twenty years ago, and he knew that fireworks were a passion of his. For Dr. Filibuster, the most important subjects were Charms, Herbology, and Potions, though I still think he would have been greatly served by Transfiguration as well."

"Well, we definitely think fireworks would be useful for us to have in our inventory," said Fred, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "So the four subjects you mentioned?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley," said McGonagall. "There is the matter of passing your OWL's in those subjects, however. Managing OWL scores required for each of those courses is no small feat, even for students who spend more time studying than you do at present."

"Well, Professor," Fred began. "We were actually wondering what time minimum requirement for course schedules was. We want to make sure we have time in our schedules to work on projects. To experiment, you know?"

McGonagall stared at him momentarily as she appear to steel herself. It seemed possible that no student had ever asked such a question.

"We thought we could study different things," George explained. "We wanted to do about three each."

"Three? Only three?" asked McGonagall in disbelief. "Mr. Weasley, most students take at least five NEWT-level courses. I don't know of any precedent for students taking less than four, and that's a rarity."

"Well, if there's no precedent, then, Professor," piped up Fred. "Why couldn't we be the first?"

"And second?" added George.

McGonagall eyed them curiously again, then said, "I shall speak to Professor Dumbledore considering your proposal, but… well, I can't say I see any problem. No matter what advice I give you two, you'll make the decision that's best for you."

"Really?" said George, a bemused smile flashing across his face.

"Oh, yes," said McGonagall. "You may break a hundred school rules to do it, and there seems to me little point in conducting this meeting at all because of it, but you'll make the decision that most suits you. Most students choose to follow my advice to a fault, but you will carve out your own path among Hogwarts graduates, which is something of which I think you should be proud. It is within a Gryffindor's nature to create a career of risk factors and reap the rewards. You two are no exception."

Fred and George exchanged an awestruck look. Never in their almost five years at Hogwarts had professor McGonagall paid them so many compliments.

"Well, if you are serious about pursuing this idea together, it may indeed behoove you to separate your skill sets into complementary groups. Considering Professor Snape absolutely refuses to accept NEWT students who do not receive Outstanding on their OWL, one of you should definitely focus as hard as possible on that subject, while the other should focus on Transfiguration. You both hand in satisfactory work in Transfiguration, so I would recommend deciding that delegation of magical skill based on the person with more prowess in potioneering."

"As for Charms… I would definitely suggest both of you take charms, and again, only one of you take Herbology," she stated, eyeing them carefully. "Whichever of you is the more responsible…"

"George," said Fred.

"Fred," said George.

"…Should take a greater number of courses," finished McGonagall shortly. "Do you have any additional questions about what Hogwarts can offer you during your NEWT-level educations?"

"Yes," said Fred. "We were wondering, Professor, about space."

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow, looking inquiringly at the twins. "Space?"

"Yes, Professor," George replied. "Our experiments are getting more complicated, messy, and involved, and the previous spaces we've been used just can't accommodate what we're up to."

"Hmmm," said McGonagall.

"We were wondering if there were any spare room, like a disused classroom or dungeon, where we could set up some sort of… laboratory," finished Fred, his voice faltering a bit.

When McGonagall spoke, there was a shrewd tone to her voice that Fred and George had come to associate with their father's very specific way of identifying wrongdoing. "While there may be space, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley, I must admit that I fear that the school may be supporting its own troublemakers; that is to say, we would be enabling students to break rules through the sponsorship of your products."

"We thought you'd say that," said George. "Thing is, Professor, we can't control what people do with our products once they've purchased them. It's like anything else, any other magical tool. Technically speaking, people can do all kinds of curses and jinxes with wands, but you still require wands be purchased for study here."

McGonagall narrowed her eyes at the pair of them and said, "That's all very well, but I think this is another matter for the Headmaster to consider. I'm going to yield to Professor Dumbledore, see what he can offer you. Any other questions?"

"No, Professor, thank you," said George, gathering his things to leave. His twin, however, was gazing at Professor McGonagall with an odd, rather aggressive look.

"Professor, I'm just wondering… Why didn't you tell us off for this? Won't our products break school rules and cause mayhem and general… disorder?" asked Fred. Behind him, George buried his head in his hand, afraid that Fred had finally pushed it too far.

McGonagall surveyed Fred with a imperious expression, then an alarmingly mischievous grin that Fred and George had never seen crossed her face.

"Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley," said she. "I have worked at Hogwarts for almost forty years. When you have seen as much of Hogwarts as I have, you come to understand that students will break school rules. Managing mayhem is part of my job. As long as you don't create things that genuine threaten the safety of the students of this school, or disrupt the learning process, I have no issue with your aspirations. From the few items that I have seen, you create things that inspire a sense of fun and whimsy here. Even the strictest teacher understands how much people need laughter, and you will do well to give that to Hogwarts."

Dumbstruck, Fred and George looked at each other in amazement, then back to McGonagall, who swept out from behind her desk, escorting them out of her office.

"Remember: not everyone can do what you do," said McGonagall softly. "And there will come a time when Hogwarts will be very happy that it supported the dreams of Fred and George Weasley."

And with that, she gestured towards the door, which opened automatically, and ushered the twins out.

oOo

A/N: I've had this short story in my mind for YEARS. What would it be like to have Fred and George have a career consultation like the one Harry had in OotP?

For those of you who have stumble upon this story having been readers of "Harry Potter and the American Exchange"... No, I have not abandoned that story. I'm a grad student in music composition, and I have my own original literary project that I'm working on, and I need to invest time in both of those creative practices before I return to writing "The American Exchange." Don't worry, I still have the whole story mapped out in my head. It might be finished ten years from now, and that's okay. If there's one thing that's for sure, will still be here ten years from now.


End file.
